131012

“When you find yourself not fit in a bunch of people, maybe their pack is full already.”

I never try to fit in anything, anyplace, always letting things go in its own flow. Constant resistance and rejection I’ve gotten over the past years have thought me about it. Never push yourself to fit in or try to change yourself to fit in. Definitely not worth it.

Maybe I don’t have such criteria to fit in any pack. I always prefer to be alone, working quietly, rather blunt in telling people their minus and flaws, rather introvert tsundere self haha. The one with her own opinion and state of mind. Such urge to fit in have never been felt to me anyway.

I only wish for people to accept me as who I really am. Rather tell me abruptly when I did wrong, instead of talking about me in the back. Such cowardice I cannot accept. I will tell what you did wrong on first place too. It’s only normal to do so. I practically accept your flaws and minus and majestic self when I consider you as friend. We can work other things out together. There will always be two way conversation between us. And you will never be alone since you have me in daily basis.

Nowadays it’s either people taking advantages of me or only come near whenever they feel like it. My friends have friends and I’m practically left alone. It saddened me as if I’m just a concierge. None ever try to talk about anything as per lately either. I’m always alone.

Maybe it’s better to me not to have friend since I already alone and will be alone at the end anyway.

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Author: Allison Nakamura

Tannya Aditya. Also known as Allison Nakamura of @DBSKCassIndo. Editor by weekdays, blogger on weekend. Quiescent misanthropist and sugoi motherfucker. 東方神起ファン. http://tohosync.flavors.me/

3 thoughts on “131012”

    1. i think it’s pretty much normal. i like to call it “3am thoughts”. when you’re all alone and wonder if you ever been loved. it’s good to vent it out. but now i look at this post again and feel like, “ah, this have passed.” maybe i’m alone at all. but i have this wonderful companion, myself ^^

      thanks for reading!

      1. though sometimes when I feel really alone while the others seem to have fun I thought “did I do something wrong so I cant really keep people by my side?”

        kind of emo.. but yeah sometimes emo indeed.

        No prob, it was pleasure to read your posts ^^

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