Sometimes I feel like I always have to fight alone. I have to be perfect and indestructible all the time. The bread runner. The golden kid. Even in my family. I grow up to be that kind of person who thinks everything is possible if I do it by myself and not with anyone’s help. But I do need other people in my life too. To talk to, just a small talk. For a help, to teach me stuffs. Yet everyone walk away and leave me.
I wasn’t have to fight alone. I am alone all the time. And it hurts because I am the person who needs daily basis of encouragement and affection. Yet I never properly have one.
I haven’t had a good hug in months. And I am sick of crying myself to sleep, wanting to have one. I need. It’s sad that I cannot even express myself correctly without pissing somebody off.
I am just a human. Woman, as a matter of fact. Can’t I act properly like one?