Sometimes I feel like I always have to fight alone. I have to be perfect and indestructible all the time. The bread runner. The golden kid. Even in my family. I grow up to be that kind of person who thinks everything is possible if I do it by myself and not with anyone’s help. But I do need other people in my life too. To talk to, just a small talk. For a help, to teach me stuffs. Yet everyone walk away and leave me.

I wasn’t have to fight alone. I am alone all the time. And it hurts because I am the person who needs daily basis of encouragement and affection. Yet I never properly have one.

I haven’t had a good hug in months. And I am sick of crying myself to sleep, wanting to have one. I need. It’s sad that I cannot even express myself correctly without pissing somebody off.
I am just a human. Woman, as a matter of fact. Can’t I act properly like one?


Author: Allison Nakamura

Tannya Aditya. Also known as Allison Nakamura of @DBSKCassIndo. Editor by weekdays, blogger on weekend. Quiescent misanthropist and sugoi motherfucker. 東方神起ファン. http://tohosync.flavors.me/

3 thoughts on “140628”

  1. I hope things get better soon :) I wish you all the best – I had a terrible birthday this year as well, don’t even ask, but don’t worry. It seems as if things are get worse and worse, and it takes time, but the sun always emerges from the rainy clouds.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s