This morning I saw photos of Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift kissing by the beach. And not long afterwards, medias confirmed that they are indeed dating.

Tbvh public figures life is always been amusing to me but who am I to judge on their relationship? So imma stay away from that.

What saddened me was Tom’s portrayal in the media. Reducing him to “Taylor’s new boyfriend”.

But he’s so much more than that.

Media needs a party to degrade. To be reduced to an unknown status. They need to put one more ‘hip’ name forward and belittle the other. All for clickbait. Sadly this time they use Tom :( Seeing medias degrade Tom bec he’s now someone’s significant other, I feel angry. He’s a talented, amazing and humble human, also unicef ambassador. Not to mention long list of impressive filmography. Despite his cold, grimey, and villain-like appearance, he’s a superhero. A superhero at heart at least.

He’s more than someone who smooched pop music’s it girl bye the beach. More than just a pretty face. More than just a Loki Laufeyson. Tom doesn’t deserve any of this. He should’ve been seen as his acting career and that’s it.

I hope I wouldn’t see any of this. Be it Tom, or other people who happened to be dating the it boy/girl at the moment. Because none deserve to be degraded for who(m) they’re dating with.

P. S. About Yoochun, ah boy I don’t know what to do with you anymore. Sometimes I really think you tested my patience and this time I hit my limit. Yoochun is canceled until further notice.
P. P. S. Apparently I heard rumor that Chris Evans actually a homewrecker for dating Jenny Slate which happened to be his co-star in upcoming movie “Gifted”. They shoot back in October and Jenny still has husband by then but not long after they’re shooting together Jenny filed for divorce. People assumed that Jenny has affair and the third person is Chris. Wtf???



it’s not you. it’s me.

all these stress i’m feeling, not caused by you. it’s me, feeling it. allowing myself to feel it. i’m not slightest bit mad. i’m just stressed out. that’s all.

maybe i am actually not worthy. i am incompetent. i am a failure.

i feel like shit for doing all the best i can yet it never meet anyone’s expectation. crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even bat an eye for me.

why am i even trying.


I wish I’m not easily stressed out.

I wish I’m better in taking longer breaths to keep myself calm. I wish I’m not easily distraught by the slightest bit of disorder. Really. My life is already a train slipped out of its track and crashed a tunnel yet I screamed out if I see my manga collections moved from their spot by an inch. I shouldn’t be like that.

I should’ve just vent out. I should’ve pointed things out. Or better, I should’ve just make things right.

It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. It’s draining my energy. It makes me feel worse than I originally was. I don’t need this. I don’t want to feel it.



“Almost nothing need be said when you have eyes.”
Tarjei Vesaas, The Boat in the Evening

it was a silly of me to get worked up over people’s comments and remarks. but i don’t like unnecessary words. i loathe it to the bone. people should stop speaking stupid things because they are, well, stupid. your unnecessary remarks, what the fuck is that? to induce laugh? what kind of laughter? cynical? funny? no. you think that’s funny?

your sense of humor is a shitty one.

don’t speak just because you have the urge to give comments over everything. do people speak first think later nowadays? is it a trend? is that what cool people do?

put your words to a better use!

oh, i forgot. they’re just the same useless as you.



Yesterday was a series of bad luck.

– Unable to book both GoJek and GrabBike for an hour or so (whosoever thought to have promo while also bidding driver to pick us up is the worst people ever. And I have to tell you that they somehow made the drivers cocky. I only had any luck after 20+ attempts in two bookings, and he delivered me to wrong place. Haven’t encountered this shit with GoJek but their internal server can be super sucks sometimes)
– Which made me late for like 15 mins (yay! NOT)
– Thankfully the rest of the day went smooth.
– But then night comes and boy, a snack seller managed to spill his peanut sauce all over my fave shoe. MY FAVE SHOE (now it stinks like hell and looks absolutely gross)
– Walking begrudgedly to the office, a security told me (in a polite way) that my period blood was smeared all over my shirt. GREAT.
– And shit stained my office seat too!
– But thankfully I managed to change into my tee and got home safe.

Hopefully this year’s bad luck have been dumped to that day because if one shit happened again today I might just go home and cry until 25th.

Maybe I shouldn’t go to the office yesterday. It’s as if universe teamed against me “Hey, let’s make Nyan’s day miserable!” /sighs